Confidence & Visibility with Steph Wharton
EXPERT INTERVIEW
I’m so excited to introduce you to Steph Wharton today. I first met her at the Thrive Summit which was hosted by Esther Yew. She was just being herself during her presentation and throwing out info gems all over the place. I’m personally looking forward to her support this Fall with some fun visibility opportunities (more on that later!)
Steph’s views on showing up are a breath of fresh air and totally aligned with Illustrative’s values. So let’s dive into our interview with Steph and see how to build that confidence and increase visibility while learning a little more about her and her work.
Here’s the interview:
Tell us about what you do through your business:
I'm a leadership + visibility coach, a speaker, and a podcaster who thrives on breaking the rules and prioritizing fun in life and business. I specialize in helping folks expand different areas of their business—whether that's their authority, visibility, or income—in order to welcome more sustainability and ease.
My philosophy if you will, is about getting clear on what success looks like to you, getting rid of everything that doesn't serve you—from strategies to beliefs, to the way you show up for your business—and instead doing things your way. It's all about building a business and life that's a whole damn vibe.
What's happening in your business that you're excited about?
What I'm the most excited about right now is that lately, I've been making a lot of decisions in my business that don't look like what most people in the online space do. Instead of comparing myself to others and trying to do things perfectly, I'm doing things my way and trusting the process. Whether it's the fact that I release multiple podcast episodes a week without even editing them, that I've created a mastermind that follows a much different structure than what I often see other coaches do, or that I create offers regardless of whether there are people in my community who appear to be interested, I prefer to focus on doing things my way and having fun than following stiff rules.
“Instead of comparing myself to others and trying to do things perfectly, I’m doing things my way and trusting the process.”
What do you find delightful about what you do?
Honestly it's the fact that running your own business allows you to create a life you're truly obsessed with. So many of us have been conditioned to go about life in a specific way—to behave a certain way, graduate from school, land a suitable career, marry and have children, and eventually retire. That life is beautiful, but it's not for everyone.
I love entrepreneurship because it gives us permission to be someone else. It opens a new door we didn't even know existed to make our own rules, define our own version of success, and for the first time ever, go after things that actually make us happy.
The thing is, that even through entrepreneurship, it can be easy for people to fall into old habits and feel like there's a right and a wrong way of doing things.
This is why I love coaching. I love being able to support others as they find their own voice, as they start to release the pressure to be like everyone else, as they become more confident and start to make decisions based on how they want to live their lives. There's something so freaking rewarding about knowing you were a part of someone else's journey in creating a business and a lifestyle that they're truly obsessed with.
“I love entrepreneurship because it gives us permission to be someone else. It opens a new door we didn’t even know existed to make our own rules, define our own version of success, and for the first time ever, go after things that actually make us happy. ”
What brings you joy personally?
The idea of one day owning a beautiful home with a cute backyard inspired by a Spanish courtyard. I'm talking about lots of greenery, twinkly lights, a lounge space under a pergola, and a fire pit we can sit around as a family with a glass of wine as we unwind for the day. I love the idea of having a little oasis I can step into and forget about the business, adulting, and just be in each others' company—happy.
What is your favorite way to celebrate accomplishments?
Going to the beach on a random day of the week! One of the main reasons I started my own business was so that I could have more freedom and flexibility to do the things that I love. To be able to take time off—whether that's a day or a month—without having to ask for vacation time or worry about the business itself crumbling down can feel so empowering. Taking a day to spend at the beach immediately brings me to a place mentally where I know without a shadow of a doubt that I've "made it"—I've built the life of my dreams.
Who has inspired you most in the world of online business?
This is hard for me to answer because I'm one of those people that doesn't really look up to others in the online space. I tend to stay in my own lane which makes it easier to then pursue things knowing that I'm doing so because I want to and not because I think I should, based on what other people say or do.
With that said, I'm not going to sit here and pretend I've never been inspired by other entrepreneurs! One of the people who has inspired me the most is one of my best friends—Jessica Sealey. Being good friends with entrepreneurs gives you a special kind of insight into what it really looks like to be an entrepreneur. You get to see the success, but you also see the challenges that come up when you put too much pressure on yourself, set high expectations, and try and scale your business while also balancing life as a whole.
Being friends with Jess (and eventually even hiring her as my mentor) has shown me that it is normal to have both—the internal struggle and the thriving business—and that you're not all of a sudden less worthy of what you want just because you're having a rough go at it. It has shown me that you get to be ridiculously successful as an entrepreneur despite any challenges that come your way. What matters most is doing things you genuinely enjoy doing and continuing to put in the work even when things get tough.
What is one thing you've discovered about yourself through owning a business?
I've come to discover that I'm really, really confident. Growing up I was always shy and on the quiet side. Although with time I became a different person that was more confident and outgoing, part of me perhaps still identified with a more quiet and less confident version of myself.
Through entrepreneurship, however—and through the help of my wife who does not hesitate to smirk and give me looks whenever I say something outrageously confident—I started to discover that I have a very deep sense of trust and belief in myself. That's not to say that I don't sometimes second guess myself, but more often than not, I know deep down that I'm capable of doing whatever I set my mind to.
Because entrepreneurship can have a lot of ups and downs, where one day you feel invincible, and the next you feel like a total failure—being able to lean into this sense of confidence has allowed me to continue to show up day in and day out and be more resilient.
What I love most is that this is something I've been unknowingly helping my clients with as well. By believing in my clients and their potential, challenging them to see things differently, and showing them by example, I've begun to notice that a large majority of my private coaching clients always leave feeling more sure of themselves and the decisions they make in their business.
“I believe that my intersecting identities have made me more bold and unapologetic in how I show up and run my business. ”
How have all of your intersecting identities supported you in your online business?
I believe that my intersecting identities have made me more bold and unapologetic in how I show up and run my business.
At first, talking about the fact that I'm both Latinx and a part of the LGBTQIA2S+ community happened in part as a defense mechanism. The last thing I wanted as someone who was trying to build a brand and get seen, was to be judged for who I was. I dreaded the idea of signing a new client to then potentially find out that they were homophobic. How would I then deal with that? Would we terminate the contract? How would I feel? How would I even get over that—knowing that I wasn't even being accepted for who I was, for something I could do absolutely nothing about?
To avoid any awkward situations, I started being more vocal about who I was. I started to share more about my life, and I started to be very intentional about the kind of community I was building and in turn, the kind of people I was attracting into my corner of the online space.
It quickly became a part of my core values—to create a space where everyone felt welcomed. Where folks of different backgrounds, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, neurodivergence, ability, and perspectives could be themselves—where everyone could expand together.
Maybe it's a coincidence, maybe it's not, but I freaking love that as a by-product of embracing who I am, I've now worked with an even more diverse group of people than ever before. Surrounding myself with powerful womxn of different backgrounds and lived experiences allows me to become a better coach and mentor—someone who is able to create space for other people's perspectives and come up with ways to grow that feel good and exciting to each individual person.
What do you want most people to know about Visibility?
There are two very important but often overlooked things about visibility that I'd love for people to know.
First, it's that being visible does not necessarily mean you need to show up more. Instead of doing more, it's about being more intentional with where and how you show up so that folks can see you, learn from you, and even be inspired by you even when you're not actively showing up. One of my favourite ways of doing this is by partnering up with other entrepreneurs and collaborating in creative ways.
Secondly, it's that you don't have to change anything about yourself in order to be more visible. You don't have to be louder, bolder, or show up on video in order to be seen. Some of my most successful clients became more visible by sticking to who they are, honouring their energy, and opening themselves up to creative ways of partnering up with others in order to expand their brand without trying to be someone they're not.
At the end of the day, people aren't going to feel drawn to you if you're forcing how you show up and who you pretend to be. Instead, they're going to feel a much deeper connection with the real you—the most authentic and raw version of you.
How do you make/find ease when you need it?
For me, it's all about creating intentional space to simply be. I find that the more time I take for myself to unwind and be away from the business, the more at ease I feel. This all leads to me feeling more creative, more inspired, and more motivated to get back into the business to create and impact my community.
There are different ways that I create that intentional space, but some of the most common ways I do that is by going out on a daily walk in the sun, watching Netflix in the middle of the day, and playing board games with my wife while leaving my phone on silent or in the other room.
If someone asked you "How do we know if our brand is a whole damn vibe?” What would you say?
It's all about the little things. It's when people start messaging you saying "omg me too" whenever you share something personal. It's when people tell you they're loving your content. It's when folks want to hear more about what you have to say. It's when they start to experience small wins and breakthroughs because of your free content. It's when folks become inspired and want to be in your energy because they know it'll help them reach success faster. It's when your brand and what you stand for become a way of life for your community—that's when you know your brand is a whole damn vibe.
What led you to switch from design to visibility coaching? What new challenges do you enjoy in this type of work?
There were a couple of small things that happened which led me to want to switch from being a brand designer to a coach. Ultimately what really pushed me into wanting to pursue visibility coaching, in particular, was the fact that most of my quickest, easiest, and most mind-blowing success as a designer—and later as a coach—all had to do with visibility. It was the connections I was making in the industry, the collaborations I was participating in, and the speaking opportunities I was booking that were attracting more traffic and more sales than ever before. It felt easy and fun to show up to share my unique perspectives with people and have that turn into folks wanting to work with me. It felt so natural and not forced. So I went ahead and reverse-engineered what was bringing about these results and stumbled into my signature visibility framework. The rest is history.
I think what I love most about this type of work is that the principles themselves are fairly simple. Most of my clients are really surprised when they do the work and realize how easy it can be to become more visible. The challenge isn't about getting visible, but about getting people out of their own way when they don't think it will work for them, when they're worried they're not enough of an authority, or feel pressure to show up a certain way so that it's more powerful. When this type of resistance comes up, I like to take more of a coaching approach and help them show up more confidently without trying to be someone they're not. It's about helping my clients feel more comfortable in their own skin and starting to believe that there's nothing they can do to mess things up.
Stephanie Wharton
If you want to chat more with Steph about this article you can connect with her on Instagram here.
And you can hear more from her by tuning into her podcast.
Steph has a Free Ebook titled “30 Ways to Get Visible”. It’s worth the read!
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